Model of Happiness


Happiness is one of four instinctive emotions an individual is born with: the others are anger, sadness, and fear. Babies communicate by feeling and then releasing each emotion as it arises, ie, when babies feel sad, they cry; when they’re angry, they will throw whatever is in their hands, or throw a tantrum; when they’re scared, they will shake or cry – and after each emotion is “released”, the “default” emotion, contentment/ happiness, returns. Babies don’t question each emotion, they simply accept it, feel it, and then release it. So, then we can say that babies are truthful and honest – to what they feel.

The above model of happiness is based on this foundation – truth and honesty. Just as a baby is truthful, so too, in order for us to be happy within ourselves, we need to be honest with ourselves and about what we feel.

Humans can be divided into four parts:

  • Intellect – what we think
  • Emotion – what we feel
  • Physical – our body
  • Spiritual – our beliefs about ourselves and our cultural and social environment.

To be content/happy within ourselves, we need to be “balanced”, ie, all four parts that make up our body need to be interconnected, as shown in the above diagram. If we only focus on one part, we become “unbalanced” or “dis-eased” which can lead to illness and can manifest as physical or psychological ailments, such as physical pain, depression, and anxiety.

How can we stay in balance and be content with ourselves?

  1. Listen to what our body tells us and let go of emotions as they arise. When an emotion arises, acknowledge the feeling and say “I am feeling sad/angry/afraid…I am allowed to feel sad/angry/afraid” and then “I am breathing out the sadness/anger/fear.”
  2. It is important to breathe through our diaphragm as we say these words (breathe deep and low so our belly expands as we breathe in and contracts as we breathe out).
  3. Be truthful with ourselves about what we are feeling; feel the anger, sadness, and fear, and do not suppress the emotion.
  4. We can also continue to release emotions by yelling, hitting a pillow or a punching bag when we are angry, writing, drawing, walking – whatever will release the emotion without hurting ourselves or anyone else.
  5. Stop comparing ourselves to others – yes, it’s easy to say but difficult to do. Only when we accept ourselves – our strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, body type, etc, can we be content and happy.

The model of happiness is a pyramid that has, at its base, the truth of self. Without a solid base, everything else falls apart. The structure of self will have no grounding – nothing to base itself upon. When this base is solid, we can build our foundation of love & worth and then gain our own identity. Each side of the pyramid represents one of the four parts necessary to “complete” us as human beings, e.g. the intellectual side has the components of love and worth, etc. You can love your intellectual self and have intellectual worth. Similarly, you can love and feel worth about your body – without it, you cannot walk, talk, eat, sleep, feel, etc. When you are not physically connected, it is not possible to feel this love or worth. This is achieved partly by breathing diaphragmatically – breathing into your stomach rather than your chest.

When you allow yourself to breathe correctly, via your diaphragm, you allow yourself to start feeling; and hence start living. It is the physical part of the pyramid that connects the head (intellect), to the body (emotion). As the sides of the pyramid begin to connect, so too will your life start to change. The more you emotionally connect yourself by physically feeling what you feel, the more you will know what you know (intellect). When this occurs, you start spiritually connecting to yourself. You will allow yourself to feel your emotions, and then you can connect to the brain (intellectual pyramid), and give yourself permission to breathe out the emotions that need to be released – fear, anger, sadness, etc. You will feel the emotions as they arise and then let these emotions go. By releasing these emotions, you will connect to the other emotions of happiness, laughter, and love.
Many people lose focus on what is important in life – they end up doing life rather than experiencing it.
When each side of the pyramid is connected, you are able to have self-love and feel worthwhile internally (i.e. it won’t be based on what you do or the acceptance of others.).

For more information on this or to start work on your own journey to happiness, please contact and book with Sandy here: